Thursday, October 22, 2009

Dear Jaxon Maddox,

You came into my life at the perfect moment. Your dad and I found out that we were pregnant with you about 2 weeks before your dad deployed to Iraq. I'm sure you will find out all about that history in school. Everyday that your dad was gone, I was content knowing that I had a part of him with me at every moment. You kept me going everyday. This deployment was spent looking forward to my OB appointments and ultrasounds. Thankfully, technology is at a place today that made it possible for me to share EVERYTHING with your dad. I took pictures of EVERY piece of clothing, toy and furniture thing possible and sent them to your dad.

The day you were born was one of the most special days I have ever experienced. The moment I met you, I forgot what it was like before I had you. Your Aunt Sheriecey was there with me the whole time. Your dad got to meet you on the 3rd day of your life. He told me it was one of the best days of his life. It was quite a reunion.

So after you were born and your dad went back to Iraq, it was just you and I for 4 and a half months. We did everything together. I had my camera out at every moment and our lives revolved around sharing you with your father over the computer. He got so many pictures and videos. He says it was what got him through the deployment, coming home to you and I.

You have grown into such an independent and head strong little man. You have filled my days with joy (and frustration, mostly joy) and I could not be a happier mother. You love your mama and I hope that I can show all of my letters and videos to you one day when you tell me you hate me.

We will soon face another deployment and while it was be a hectic time with daddy gone and mommy in school, one day you benefit so much from our sacrifices. I will make that promise to you.

I hope you turn out to be a kind person. There is so much hate in this world and I want you to be one of the ones that make a difference. I will do my best to give you the tools you need to become that great person.



Oh and P.S. - Here is yet ANOTHER video I put together for you. It's only because I love you so much. I'm going to predict that I am going to be the embarrassing mom at your school.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

"The Controversial Hair"

Okay so I got my hair did yesterday and I was originally just going to get my hair trimmed and my eyebrows waxed....Well as soon as I met my stylist, April Rose....I said, "I want you hair, do that for me" We were both so excited because she does her own hair like this but never has been asked by a client to do it.

Well, I get home and Ron was like "Are you serious? and Is this for Halloween?" I said nope, it's permanent. Then he proceeded to ask me what I was thinking. My feelings were hurt all night. However, I did give him my answer...I'm young and in college, why can't I have funky hair? When I start my professional career, I won't be able to do this kind of stuff? So for right now, why not? It's just fun and I want to get it out of my system.

Sorry, my hair wasn't fixed....looking like a dirty pirate hooker.

By the end of the night, he said it was growing on him. He could have just lied to me and told me he loved it and it was have been dropped. Sometimes, ignorance is bliss.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Something nice....

I will never look at a deck of cards the same again. Will you?

Here is a new way to look at a deck of cards!!

It was quiet that day, the guns and the mortars, and land mines for some reason hadn't been heard.

The young soldier knew it was Sunday, the holiest day of the week.

As he was sitting there, he got out an old deck of cards and laid them out across his bunk.

Just then an army sergeant came in and said, 'Why aren't you with the rest of the platoon?'

The soldier replied, 'I thought I would stay behind and spend some time with the Lord.'

The sergeant said, 'Looks to me like you're going to play cards.'

The soldier said, 'No, sir. You see, since we are not allowed to have Bibles or other spiritual books in this country,

I've decided to talk to the Lord by studying this deck of cards.'

The sergeant asked in disbelief, 'How will you do that?'
'You see the Ace, Sergeant? It reminds me that there is only one God.

The Two represents the two parts of the Bible, Old and New Testaments

The Three represents the Father, Son, and the Holy Ghost.

The Four stands for the Four Gospels: Matthew, Mark, Luke and John.
The Five is for the five virgins there were ten but only five of them were glorified.

The Six is for the six days it took God to create the Heavens and Earth.

The Seven is for the day God rested after making His Creation.

The Eight is for the family of Noah and his wife, their three sons and their wives -- the eight people God spared from the flood that destroyed the Earth.

The Nine is for the lepers that Jesus cleansed of leprosy He cleansed ten, but nine never thanked Him.

The Ten represents the Ten Commandments that God handed down to Moses on tablets made of stone.

The Jack is a reminder of Satan, one of God's first angels, but he got kicked out of heaven for his sly and wicked ways and is now the joker of eternal hell.

The Queen stands for the Virgin Mary.

The King stands for Jesus, for he is the King of all kings.

When I count the dots on all the cards, I come up with 365 total, one for every day of the year.

There are a total of 52 cards in a deck; each is a week - 52 weeks in a year.

The four suits represent the four seasons: Spring, Summer, Fall and Winter.

Each suit has thirteen cards -- there are exactly thirteen weeks in a quarter.

So when I want to talk to God and thank Him, I just pull out this old deck of cards and they remind me of all that I have to be thankful for.'

The sergeant just stood there. After a minute, with tears in his eyes and pain in his heart, he said, 'Soldier, can I borrow that deck of cards?'

Please let this be a reminder and take time to pray for all of our soldiers who are being sent away, putting their lives on the line fighting

Prayer for the Military.

Please keep the wheel rolling.. It will only take a few seconds of your time, but it'll be worth it to read on....

Lord, hold our troops in your loving hands.

Protect them.

Bless them and their families

Feeling overwhlemed and just bad...

So I am sitting here watching Jaxon playing contently by himself while I am typing this. This is usually how it is while I am doing homework. Since I am taking 13 hours, there is soooooo much homework. I feel like I am neglecting him. He needs his mom, he needs the stimulation but if it's not homework, it's housework or feeding him lunch and snacks.

I got a good cry out about it last night. I just feel torn, I am meeting all of his basic needs but I feel like that is all I am doing....that is how much homework I have. Maybe taking a full load wasn't a good idea BUT it has helped because we have gotten more money because of it so that is why I did it. I keep trying to tell myself that this is so temporary and that our family will benefit so much from it when I do finish. I want to put the time into my school because I don't want to just do mediocre. I want to do good and so far I have done very well. I feel like I won't do as well if I stop putting so much time into homework.

It's breakfast, playtime, nap and homework, lunch, playtime, snack, nap and just seems so monotonous and overwhelming. Not to mention keeping up with the housework in between all of that. I mean, is this normal for people who are going to school full-time with children to feel this way?

Sorry for the downer post, I just need some uplifting comments to make me feel better...sincere ones, of course. I hope all of this is worth it and that I'm not damaging my son since he is at such an impressionable age.

Friday, October 9, 2009

Some potentially GREAT news...

So I was talking to my Uncle Dan on Facebook last night and he found out that Ron has an extensive background in Law Enforcement and Military. My Uncle Dan is a retired officer with 30 years under his belt so he still knows a lot of people that he could call. Well, he said he would be able to make a few calls get him a interview!!

We still have about 3 years in and we have been toiling with what we wanted to do when he gets out...this may just be the answer.

Ron is such a devoted soldier and is good at what he does. He always has been. When he was working for the Sheriff's department in Memphis, he was great at that and he loved what he did!

So we are really excited about this prospect and if everything works out, I will be a Utahan again.

In case Uncle Dan reads this, Thank you so much for this. Your efforts do mean the world to us.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Busy times for the Swain clan

So in light of Sheriece's most recent and most fantastic update, I thought I might offer the same.

Let's see...


I am doing very well in school thus far...even though it's only been a week of my full load, I am feeling pretty confident that I am going to do well in all of my classes. I got my first graded assignment back from my English Composition and it was 20/20 which I am pretty proud of. My other three classes: Biology, Nutrition and Math are online classes...which I'm not too fond of because I do better in a classroom setting but from what I gathered from this week, I will do fine. I do homework while Jaxon takes his two naps daily and I shower while Ron comes home for lunch. This may sounds awful but I just can't drag myself out of bed at 5:30 to get ready before Jaxon gets up. I just can't do it...soooo, I guess I have do what I have to do. And in between homework during naps and showers during lunch hours, I am trying to keep up with the housework. I could kick myself for not taking the college thing seriously the first time when I wasn't tied down to any responsibilities but I guess it doesn't matter at this point. Better late than never, right?!

Please excuse the gloating that may arise with my potential success in school, I just really feel like I am doing something worth while to better myself and our family. It feels really good and I want to share it with everyone. :)


He's doing well. He has some tests coming up next week, I believe, that will give us a better idea of what has been going on with his heart. I will definitely keep everyone posted with anything that we find out. In the meantime, he is on profile which means he is not allowed to do anything strenuous, like PT (physical training). Ron has been great and supportive about how much time I have had to put into school. On Sunday, I had to write a paper that was due on Tuesday and he cleaned the house. I thought that was great. My English Comp class is on Tues and Thurs from 7P - 9:15P, which is really late and long class!!! He's been great about getting Jaxon ready for bed and into bed on those nights. I really appreciate all of his help (but I know that he knows if he helps me through this school thing, we will all benefit greatly...monetarily speaking. LOL.) No but really, he's a great and very hands-on dad.

Ron took me up the side of a mountain this past weekend in the Bronco. I was TERRIFIED. It was a narrow dirt road that curved every which way and uuuupppp and doooowwwwnnn...Oh lord. I was sore when we got home from being so tense for those 3 hours. We did get some pretty pictures though.

Alrighty, now for the best part..

Jaxon Maddox-

He is absolutely fantastic. He is walking and trying to run EVERY.WHERE. He is an extremely active and smart little boy. He is saying "mama" "dada" "no no" and "hi". He is waving goodbye, signing for "milk" "all done" "more" and he is clapping. He has also figured out the trash can and for some reason, I have caught him twice trying to throw away a pair of my favorite's funny now but it won't be so funny when we can't find our keys or phone. Heaven forbid the trash had already been taken out. :) We would be stuck but don't think I wouldn't make Ron go out to the dumpster to look. Tee hee hee.

Jaxon has come up with the most awful attitude and tantrums in the past week or so. I really don't know what to do with him or how to discipline him. He's started getting mad and hitting us in the face when we tell him "NO" about something. I am at a loss as to what to allow and what to punish for...and even HOW to discipline a 1 year old. I'm not okay with the spanking thing at this point and he's also too young for time outs so I guess it's the good firm "NO" that will have to do and he will just have to throw his tantrums. I mean, even if we were to "punish" him at this point, he wouldn't understand what he was getting in trouble for since he doesn't understand the 'consequences of his actions' concept yet.

He's fantastic for other people but for me, he's a terror. God gave me a fantastically adorable and perfect baby for a reason, He knew he was going to give me a run for my money. :) I just look at that awesomely handsome face and my patience resets (most of the time), other times, I put him in his crib and take a break from him.

Anyways, that's us for now. Ron has a 4 day weekend this weekend so I am finishing up my homework today for the weekend so we can both be OFF until Tuesday! I'm really excited. We are going to a Pumpkin Patch tomorrow so I am sure I will get some nice photos of that and I will share with everyone.

Love you all!