Simply Swain

The best letter ever.

2010-12-29T17:03:00.001-06:00

Dear Melissa,

In 2008, while I was 6 months pregnant and missing my deployed husband, you and I got into an altercation that started when you asked me not to mail things to your children. *rolleyes* In that conversation, you called me a fat-ass.

Thank you, Melissa. While I don't think it was nice to call a pregnant woman, fat... I am very grateful you did. I look and feel better than ever and it was your comment that pushed me to go for my potential. And what potential it is, indeed.

As a victim of one of your many bitter tirades, I think you should know that Regardless of what you deal with on a personal, day-to-day you really should treat people better and not be so hateful.

Here's to you, anyway! I wouldn't be here without you.

BFF,
Maegan

P.S. It really is a shame you can not bring yourself to talk to me or even acknowledge my presence... I am not too shabby to be around.

Pound it.

2010-10-05T22:52:00.001-05:00

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I appreciate Target's efforts

2010-09-22T13:23:00.001-05:00

I never realized how nice it is that I don't have to avoid eye contact with soliciters when I walk into Target. It is just plain awkward for me. It's particularly nice when you get home and realize your husband has given some photographer guy $10 after being approached at the entrance of our local grocery. It just makes me angry, really.

Whether it's someone selling a photo session, cookies or just raising money (and yes, even for our troops) ... I'm just as bothered by that as I am by being approached by a homeless man while loading groceries into my car. I know Target has caught a lot of grief for not allowing people to solicit but as a customer who spends way too much money every.single.time. I go in there, I appreciate the efforts made to give me a comfortable entrance and exit.

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What a HOOT!

2010-09-22T10:59:00.001-05:00

Jaxon was the focus of Fountain's First Annual Oktoberfest with the roasted corn that was half his size. He was so excited to eat it!

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January, really?!

2010-06-11T09:14:00.003-05:00

i just commented on my sister's blog which meant that i had to log into my blogspot account. i discovered i haven't been on since january. wow.

let's see. jaxon is getting smarter and more ornery every day. i really hate to see how the terrible twos and threes are going to be. however, it's all worth it when he's in a lovey-dovey mood. he gets his blanket and crawls up in my lap, i might even get a hug. he's an awesome kid when he's not pulling my hair.

ron's military career is coming to an end so by next summer we could be opening a new chapter in our life. i'm extremely thankful he's not going to afghanistan but he's very disappointed and eager to move on from it. we're not sure of what the next chapter will bring and this may sound insane but i want to live outside of the US for a while. :/ i don't know when but at some point, it will happen.

i'm still hacking away at school... still not too sure where that's taking me but i'm going to find my way. :D

I have a confession...

2010-01-22T23:17:00.004-06:00

I don't want to be a nurse.

I chose a Nursing major because it is the least amount of school for the most amount of money but I don't want to be a nurse.

I want to work with animals. However... typically, that is not where the money is.

Ugh. I've already spent a lot of money in tuition and books this semester. I guess the good thing is that I'm not actually in the Nursing program yet...

Back to School!

2010-01-20T15:45:00.002-06:00

I had my new tennis shoes, cute outfit and perfect hair all put together...

Okay, not really.

It's not the same as when I was in 9th grade and so excited about the first day of school. I didn't even wear makeup today!

Somehow becoming a mother automatically puts your priorities into order. My alarm didn't go off so in order to get Jaxon up and ready in time, I traded makeup for clean hair. I'm okay with that. Perhaps if I looked like an ogre, I would not have made that trade off but since I'm halfway okay with the way my makeup-less face looks... it was a good decision. Besides that, I sat in the front of the class so the teacher was the only person who could see my face. I would have been full of regret if I would have left the dirty hair in lieu of a made up face. I certainly don't want anyone to go home and talk about 'the girl with the disgusting hair' over dinner tonight.

Any way, thankfully that was the biggest decision I had to make today. I hate making decisions.

I hope everyone had an okay Wednesday! I go to Biology tomorrow afternoon. Wish me luck!

The horrible, awful and terrible teenage years.

2010-01-09T09:21:00.004-06:00

If you would have asked me about 10 years ago, I would have told you that I KNOW for a fact that I have the worst life. Ever.

I hated my life. I was wallowing in my own sorrow for years! I was convinced that my mother had ruined me by making me move away from my life in Blytheville, AR. That is, until I grew up. I will be the first to tell you that getting away from that cesspool was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. There is no telling where I would be right now if I would have stayed in that place.

Any way, I was going through an old box last night. I was looking for pictures of my friends and I to post on Facebook and have a good giggle about how much fun we used to have.

I found something much more worth while.

While wallowing, I had all of these people around me that really loved me. Loved me! I was so completely blinded by my hatred for the situation that I completely lost touch with those that love me!

I kept all of my Birthday cards from my Sixteenth and Seventeenth birthday... which is really weird because I NEVER keep cards. I used to think they were a waste of space. They're not.

Here are my cards..in no particular order.

The card from my sister, Sheriece:

"May the joy you experience on your birthday last longer than the aroma of one of your farts." Inside - " ...and that's a long time. Have a happy one! (Birthday, that is)"

This is what she had to say:

Ha Ha! This card made me think of you! I hope you have a fabulous birthday, turning the big 1-7! I hope school is great. I also hope you know that your big sis loves and misses you. I can't wait to see you in November! It really is weird to think that this is the beginning. When I'm home, I'll be there to visit! Maybe you could come out here and visit me sometime! That would be a lot of fun. Any way, have a great birthday!"

My sister loves me.

A card from Mr and Mrs. Beasley. It was a simple card that just wished me a happy birthday. I can't say that they loved me, they hardly knew me but at least they took the time to send some wishes!

They cared enough to do it.

There is one from my mom. It's a sweet 16 card, again something simple. The most profound part of the card is when mom tells me she loves me when signing her name, "mom". Even though I didn't feel it back then, I know she means it and would do anything she can for me.

Rick wrote in the card, " Most special of all Birthdays, Love Rick" --- I don't know what to say about it except that I think he wanted to care and that's enough for me. I will get no other closure from him so I will just leave it at this, I think he did care but didn't know how to show it... so it was easier not to show it.

I have an envelope from my Great-Grandma Hammons. It is such a bummer that I don't know where the card is but I have no doubt that it was filled with as much love as a Grandmother can send through the mail.

From what I remember, She was love.

I have a card from a number of people that I have no idea who is who. The names don't ring a bell at all. But they did take the time to give me a Birthday card. They didn't love me but they cared wnough to wish me a well birthday!

I also have a number of cards from good friends. They all say the same thing. "I'm so glad we became friends." "You're so fun and amazing." - stuff like that. It was good to read. I need to look these people up that I had such amazing friendships with and rekindle them. My friends really love me.

Along with the cards, I found a newspaper article that my Grandma Martha had sent me. She was aware of my distaste for life at that moment. I think I've always been pretty open with her as far as my trials and tribulations. Any way, she sent me an article about the hardships of Sela Ward's life. She highlighted this "During this period of rejection, Ward found strength by remembering her mother's stalwartness. "Because she has grown up in the Depression, she had an inner resolve. When I'd been so sad in High School, she'd tell me, 'Don't wallow in your problems. Just pick yourself up and get on with it.'

I remember reading this and thinking that I wanted to 'get on with it.' I just didn't know how. I didn't know what that really meant but it sounded good! Grandma loves and cares enough for me, and the rest of the family, that she sees one simple phrase in an article and makes sure to share. She truly loves me, too.

I guess my point in sharing is that I hope to live my life in that day, every day. I hope to not focus on the negative sooo much that I miss the positive. It kind of hit me hard last night when stumbling upon these cards. I missed so much love and caring because I was dwelling in the unimportant stuff.

I hope every one has a wonderful weekend and I hope you all are able to sift through the bad things to get a good glimpse of the good... because the good is so worth the bad.

The End of 2009.

2009-12-26T16:37:00.003-06:00

You can't tell from the picture but life, really is, good. HAHA. A lot has happened this year, it has been a great 2009 for us.

Can you believe that Ron has been home for 9 months?!?!?!?!? It's been so good having him here. I don't know how many times I told him how happy I was to have him home this year, since last year was spent in Iraq. Even though I was fortunate enough to be able to go home to Memphis for the Holidays last year, it was awful not being able to be with Ron...there was definitely an absence. Especially since Jaxon came along! So knowing what Christmas is like with him gone, I don't want to do it again...but we will have no choice when next summer rolls around. Trashcanistan will be calling his name.

I finished my "first" semester with a 3.0! As embarrassing as it is to admit, it is not my first semester of college but it is my first semester that I have taken seriously...so I'm going to roll with it! I am now enrolled for 14 more hours starting January 20th. I'm really excited. It doesn't look like I am going to make the deadline for the 2010 Nursing school start but I will for sure make the 2011. School will be a nice distraction for the next deployment.

Let's see...what else. Jaxon now says "Look at that!" I'm guessing that's all I said to him at Disney World because he says it...and knows how to use it. He points and everything, it truly is darling. He's such an amazing kid. He has figured out how to go down the stairs within the past couple of days as well. As amazing as he is, he is as much of a handful. I guess that's how kids make parenting worth it, huh?

And wow, 2010. Really?! It was 10 years ago that I remember wondering if the Y2K thing was really as bad as they were saying...obviously it wasn't. It is funny how people like to start, spread and believe hype like that.

Oh yea and I just wanted to say...it was 13 years ago today that my grandpa passed away. I miss him and I just know he is out there, he is sitting at his Mac computer reading this right now. I love you, grandpa.

Ironic?

2009-11-26T00:43:00.004-06:00

When we moved into our current home, I wrote on my facebook about our neighbors who called the Homeowner's Association about us not picking up our dog's waste. Remember? Good.

Well, a few weeks ago, we were lying in bed and because I am a warm person, I always sleep with the window open. All of a sudden, we hear this blood hurdling scream and then some crying and yelling afterward. Ron, being the natural protector that he is, recognized that it was a woman in distress and went to check it out. Ironically enough, it was the wife of the couple who are the ones who called the HOA on us. Apparently, her husband was at NTC, a month long training in California and she was taking her two big dogs out. I guess her dogs saw something and jetted off, pulling her off of her porch. Ron went outside to check things out. He checked her ankle and then went to find her dogs.

Fast forward to tonight...we hear the doorbell. We look at each other knowing that neither of us had invited anyone over. So Ron gets up and answers the door. It was our neighbors. THEY WERE COMING OVER TO THANK RON FOR HELPING HER!!! We were both shocked. They brought us a bottle of wine to compliment our Turkey dinner for tomorrow. I thought this was the sweetest thing ever. Neither of us ever gave a second thought to it. She ended up breaking her ankle which is awful BUT we ended up breaking the ice with them and finding out they are actually SUPER nice.

Isn't it weird how stuff works out? I have a feeling that there will be no more moments when we're caught outside together in a terribly awkward silence.

Anywho, just had to update...even with something silly! I hope you all have a Happy Thanksgiving! Love you!

P.S. Here are some bonus pictures of the Jaxon. He's soooo amazing. I can't wait for my family to spend time with him in Florida. It will only take a minute for everyone to understand the gravity of how amazing he is. Okay, maybe that's just my "mom" coming out but really, he will win everyone over. Oops, there it goes again...I just can't control it.

I Love This time of year

2009-11-07T10:09:00.002-06:00

I just really love this time of year.

That's all.

Have you ever had an "aha" moment?

2009-11-04T14:10:00.003-06:00

About an hour ago, I came up with this urge to find SOMETHING to bring in some extra income and it hit me! I can be a dog / house sitter!

I hired a lady to come in and Take care of Carson and Camille while I went to Memphis for 10 days and do you know how much money she made off of me? Um.....$500....I could so do that! It's a job that Jaxon can tag a long to and I love animals!!!

So, I've ordered business cards, made fliers and even a website...check it out!!

http://www.easycarepetcare.webs.com/

If there are any grammar freaks out there reading this, please let me know if something needs to be corrected.

I'm really excited! I plan on going around to vet offices and Pet stores, I'm putting an ad in the newspaper...I'm going all out. Maybe I should be doing business management in school...

So School....

2009-11-03T23:40:00.002-06:00

Yea, where to start.

Hmmmm...

It's going pretty good. A few posts ago, I was really stressing about time management but it seems like within the past week, I've gotten into a routine. I think that because I was stressing about it, I was probably making it worse. I'm doing good in school. A downfall I have is procrastination. MAN do I ever put things off! The good thing is that I good at getting things done right before they're due! Everything always gets done!

I know it's late for school now. I'm 25, got my GED when I was 18, I'm a mother, I'm a wife but I'm a lucky wife. Ron is so supportive of my schooling. He will even help me in the dreaded labs that I have to do for Biology. They're very time consuming, almost an all day thing. I am taking Biology online so I got this huge lab kit that allows us to play scientist in the kitchen. When we do these experiments, our kitchen looks awful!

I've had so much inspiration about going to school. I have made many excuses over the last 3 years of why I couldn't do this but I look around me who have done it!! My mom got a degree while being a single mother to my brother, sister and I! My brother in law, Jerad graduated last year. He is married with 3 kids! My Aunt Nikki had her son, Nick, when she was in college and she still got her degree! Ya gotta love it! They're SuperWomen!!!!

It feels good to be doing something that will make our lives better.

For those that knew Taylor as a toddler...

2009-11-03T09:23:00.005-06:00

Do these pictures of Jaxon not bring back some memories of Taylor at that age?

I could be just me but when I saw these pictures, I was like "Whoa!"...From the pictures I've seen of Taylor as a toddler, Jaxon reminds me so much of him when he makes these faces. Specifically the first one.

Busy days

2009-11-03T08:52:00.003-06:00

Our lives have been so hectic lately. Between Ron working, my school and keeping Jaxon on a schedule...it's all become a lot. I never imagined myself having to squeeze in grocery shopping. :)

School is going well. This past week, I can tell that I am getting burned out. My goal this week is just to get everything done so I can have the weekend free with the family. I made the mistake of procrastinating this past week and instead of having a nice family weekend, my head was in a book or int he computer trying to get everything done. The good news is that I did get everything done and It appears that I am doing well in my classes.

Jaxon is so big. Within the past week, he has become a complete momma's boy. I don't mind, that kid is MINE. ;)

He saw Ron and I kiss each other goodnight one evening on my way to school and after I left, Jaxon was all over Ron wanting kisses. He loves giving kisses but he will sure make you work for them. He doesn't just hand them out to anyone. I hope that's the way it's going to be when get to be a teenager.

A lesson I have learned this week is that just as much damage can be done at a Gap outlet as just a regular Gap. You might get good prices for being "Gap" but damage can still be done. I can't help but love the outlet stores.

Well, I'm off to change a dirty butt....man, I am ready to get passed this diaper stage. EW.

Dear Jaxon Maddox,

2009-10-22T12:28:00.004-05:00

You came into my life at the perfect moment. Your dad and I found out that we were pregnant with you about 2 weeks before your dad deployed to Iraq. I'm sure you will find out all about that history in school. Everyday that your dad was gone, I was content knowing that I had a part of him with me at every moment. You kept me going everyday. This deployment was spent looking forward to my OB appointments and ultrasounds. Thankfully, technology is at a place today that made it possible for me to share EVERYTHING with your dad. I took pictures of EVERY piece of clothing, toy and furniture thing possible and sent them to your dad.

The day you were born was one of the most special days I have ever experienced. The moment I met you, I forgot what it was like before I had you. Your Aunt Sheriecey was there with me the whole time. Your dad got to meet you on the 3rd day of your life. He told me it was one of the best days of his life. It was quite a reunion.

So after you were born and your dad went back to Iraq, it was just you and I for 4 and a half months. We did everything together. I had my camera out at every moment and our lives revolved around sharing you with your father over the computer. He got so many pictures and videos. He says it was what got him through the deployment, coming home to you and I.

You have grown into such an independent and head strong little man. You have filled my days with joy (and frustration, mostly joy) and I could not be a happier mother. You love your mama and I hope that I can show all of my letters and videos to you one day when you tell me you hate me.

We will soon face another deployment and while it was be a hectic time with daddy gone and mommy in school, one day you benefit so much from our sacrifices. I will make that promise to you.

I hope you turn out to be a kind person. There is so much hate in this world and I want you to be one of the ones that make a difference. I will do my best to give you the tools you need to become that great person.

Love,

Mom

Oh and P.S. - Here is yet ANOTHER video I put together for you. It's only because I love you so much. I'm going to predict that I am going to be the embarrassing mom at your school.

Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com

"The Controversial Hair"

2009-10-18T09:46:00.003-05:00

Okay so I got my hair did yesterday and I was originally just going to get my hair trimmed and my eyebrows waxed....Well as soon as I met my stylist, April Rose....I said, "I want you hair, do that for me" We were both so excited because she does her own hair like this but never has been asked by a client to do it.

Well, I get home and Ron was like "Are you serious? and Is this for Halloween?" I said nope, it's permanent. Then he proceeded to ask me what I was thinking. My feelings were hurt all night. However, I did give him my answer...I'm young and in college, why can't I have funky hair? When I start my professional career, I won't be able to do this kind of stuff? So for right now, why not? It's just fun and I want to get it out of my system.

Sorry, my hair wasn't fixed....looking like a dirty pirate hooker.

By the end of the night, he said it was growing on him. He could have just lied to me and told me he loved it and it was have been dropped. Sometimes, ignorance is bliss.

Something nice....

2009-10-15T22:56:00.003-05:00

I will never look at a deck of cards the same again. Will you?

Here is a new way to look at a deck of cards!!

It was quiet that day, the guns and the mortars, and land mines for some reason hadn't been heard.

The young soldier knew it was Sunday, the holiest day of the week.

As he was sitting there, he got out an old deck of cards and laid them out across his bunk.

Just then an army sergeant came in and said, 'Why aren't you with the rest of the platoon?'

The soldier replied, 'I thought I would stay behind and spend some time with the Lord.'

The sergeant said, 'Looks to me like you're going to play cards.'

The soldier said, 'No, sir. You see, since we are not allowed to have Bibles or other spiritual books in this country,

I've decided to talk to the Lord by studying this deck of cards.'

The sergeant asked in disbelief, 'How will you do that?'
'You see the Ace, Sergeant? It reminds me that there is only one God.

The Two represents the two parts of the Bible, Old and New Testaments

The Three represents the Father, Son, and the Holy Ghost.

The Four stands for the Four Gospels: Matthew, Mark, Luke and John.
The Five is for the five virgins there were ten but only five of them were glorified.

The Six is for the six days it took God to create the Heavens and Earth.

The Seven is for the day God rested after making His Creation.

The Eight is for the family of Noah and his wife, their three sons and their wives -- the eight people God spared from the flood that destroyed the Earth.

The Nine is for the lepers that Jesus cleansed of leprosy He cleansed ten, but nine never thanked Him.

The Ten represents the Ten Commandments that God handed down to Moses on tablets made of stone.

The Jack is a reminder of Satan, one of God's first angels, but he got kicked out of heaven for his sly and wicked ways and is now the joker of eternal hell.

The Queen stands for the Virgin Mary.

The King stands for Jesus, for he is the King of all kings.

When I count the dots on all the cards, I come up with 365 total, one for every day of the year.

There are a total of 52 cards in a deck; each is a week - 52 weeks in a year.

The four suits represent the four seasons: Spring, Summer, Fall and Winter.

Each suit has thirteen cards -- there are exactly thirteen weeks in a quarter.

So when I want to talk to God and thank Him, I just pull out this old deck of cards and they remind me of all that I have to be thankful for.'

The sergeant just stood there. After a minute, with tears in his eyes and pain in his heart, he said, 'Soldier, can I borrow that deck of cards?'

Please let this be a reminder and take time to pray for all of our soldiers who are being sent away, putting their lives on the line fighting

Prayer for the Military.

Please keep the wheel rolling.. It will only take a few seconds of your time, but it'll be worth it to read on....

Lord, hold our troops in your loving hands.

Protect them.

Bless them and their families

Feeling overwhlemed and just bad...

2009-10-15T09:28:00.004-05:00

So I am sitting here watching Jaxon playing contently by himself while I am typing this. This is usually how it is while I am doing homework. Since I am taking 13 hours, there is soooooo much homework. I feel like I am neglecting him. He needs his mom, he needs the stimulation but if it's not homework, it's housework or feeding him lunch and snacks.

I got a good cry out about it last night. I just feel torn, I am meeting all of his basic needs but I feel like that is all I am doing....that is how much homework I have. Maybe taking a full load wasn't a good idea BUT it has helped because we have gotten more money because of it so that is why I did it. I keep trying to tell myself that this is so temporary and that our family will benefit so much from it when I do finish. I want to put the time into my school because I don't want to just do mediocre. I want to do good and so far I have done very well. I feel like I won't do as well if I stop putting so much time into homework.

It's breakfast, playtime, nap and homework, lunch, playtime, snack, nap and homework...it just seems so monotonous and overwhelming. Not to mention keeping up with the housework in between all of that. I mean, is this normal for people who are going to school full-time with children to feel this way?

Sorry for the downer post, I just need some uplifting comments to make me feel better...sincere ones, of course. I hope all of this is worth it and that I'm not damaging my son since he is at such an impressionable age.

Some potentially GREAT news...

2009-10-09T10:14:00.003-05:00

So I was talking to my Uncle Dan on Facebook last night and he found out that Ron has an extensive background in Law Enforcement and Military. My Uncle Dan is a retired officer with 30 years under his belt so he still knows a lot of people that he could call. Well, he said he would be able to make a few calls get him a interview!!

We still have about 3 years in and we have been toiling with what we wanted to do when he gets out...this may just be the answer.

Ron is such a devoted soldier and is good at what he does. He always has been. When he was working for the Sheriff's department in Memphis, he was great at that and he loved what he did!

So we are really excited about this prospect and if everything works out, I will be a Utahan again.

In case Uncle Dan reads this, Thank you so much for this. Your efforts do mean the world to us.

Busy times for the Swain clan

2009-10-08T09:00:00.005-05:00

So in light of Sheriece's most recent and most fantastic update, I thought I might offer the same.

Let's see...

Me-

I am doing very well in school thus far...even though it's only been a week of my full load, I am feeling pretty confident that I am going to do well in all of my classes. I got my first graded assignment back from my English Composition and it was 20/20 which I am pretty proud of. My other three classes: Biology, Nutrition and Math are online classes...which I'm not too fond of because I do better in a classroom setting but from what I gathered from this week, I will do fine. I do homework while Jaxon takes his two naps daily and I shower while Ron comes home for lunch. This may sounds awful but I just can't drag myself out of bed at 5:30 to get ready before Jaxon gets up. I just can't do it...soooo, I guess I have do what I have to do. And in between homework during naps and showers during lunch hours, I am trying to keep up with the housework. I could kick myself for not taking the college thing seriously the first time when I wasn't tied down to any responsibilities but I guess it doesn't matter at this point. Better late than never, right?!

Please excuse the gloating that may arise with my potential success in school, I just really feel like I am doing something worth while to better myself and our family. It feels really good and I want to share it with everyone. :)

Ron-

He's doing well. He has some tests coming up next week, I believe, that will give us a better idea of what has been going on with his heart. I will definitely keep everyone posted with anything that we find out. In the meantime, he is on profile which means he is not allowed to do anything strenuous, like PT (physical training). Ron has been great and supportive about how much time I have had to put into school. On Sunday, I had to write a paper that was due on Tuesday and he cleaned the house. I thought that was great. My English Comp class is on Tues and Thurs from 7P - 9:15P, which is really late and long class!!! He's been great about getting Jaxon ready for bed and into bed on those nights. I really appreciate all of his help (but I know that he knows if he helps me through this school thing, we will all benefit greatly...monetarily speaking. LOL.) No but really, he's a great and very hands-on dad.

Ron took me up the side of a mountain this past weekend in the Bronco. I was TERRIFIED. It was a narrow dirt road that curved every which way and uuuupppp and doooowwwwnnn...Oh lord. I was sore when we got home from being so tense for those 3 hours. We did get some pretty pictures though.

Alrighty, now for the best part..

Jaxon Maddox-

He is absolutely fantastic. He is walking and trying to run EVERY.WHERE. He is an extremely active and smart little boy. He is saying "mama" "dada" "no no" and "hi". He is waving goodbye, signing for "milk" "all done" "more" and he is clapping. He has also figured out the trash can and for some reason, I have caught him twice trying to throw away a pair of my favorite shoes...it's funny now but it won't be so funny when we can't find our keys or phone. Heaven forbid the trash had already been taken out. :) We would be stuck but don't think I wouldn't make Ron go out to the dumpster to look. Tee hee hee.

Jaxon has come up with the most awful attitude and tantrums in the past week or so. I really don't know what to do with him or how to discipline him. He's started getting mad and hitting us in the face when we tell him "NO" about something. I am at a loss as to what to allow and what to punish for...and even HOW to discipline a 1 year old. I'm not okay with the spanking thing at this point and he's also too young for time outs so I guess it's the good firm "NO" that will have to do and he will just have to throw his tantrums. I mean, even if we were to "punish" him at this point, he wouldn't understand what he was getting in trouble for since he doesn't understand the 'consequences of his actions' concept yet.

He's fantastic for other people but for me, he's a terror. God gave me a fantastically adorable and perfect baby for a reason, He knew he was going to give me a run for my money. :) I just look at that awesomely handsome face and my patience resets (most of the time), other times, I put him in his crib and take a break from him.

Anyways, that's us for now. Ron has a 4 day weekend this weekend so I am finishing up my homework today for the weekend so we can both be OFF until Tuesday! I'm really excited. We are going to a Pumpkin Patch tomorrow so I am sure I will get some nice photos of that and I will share with everyone.

Love you all!

Bad, bad baby.....

2009-09-27T10:49:00.003-05:00

He had a blast pulling all of the tissues out of the box. Needless to say, I wasn't home and Ron was watching tv, not paying attention. I though it was funny though so I had to take a picture.

And these are just because he's a stud.

Okay I just have to do this.

2009-09-26T18:29:00.002-05:00

There is a fat little Mexican kid that lives in our little townhome community. I guess I was in the right place at the right time because he came running up to me with a cookie sheet full of little white balls.

Fat kid: Hey would you like to buy some homemade chalk?

Me: Ya know, I would love to but I don't know what I would do with chalk.

Fat kid: Well do you know anyone else who would like to buy some homemade chalk?

Me: No I don't, I'm sorry.

I don't know why I found this so funny. I mean you hear of kids selling lemonade and girl scout cookies...but homemade chalk? That's HILARIOUS to me.

Ron is fine....we think.

2009-09-23T20:35:00.005-05:00

His X-ray didn't look good but his CT scan didn't show a clot in his heart...which is great news!!!

He is doing a stress test in the morning so hopefully we will know more then. Please keep him in your thoughts / prayers. This has been a sucky day. LOL.

How annoying is this?!

2009-09-22T17:39:00.002-05:00

I recently spent $200 on Jaxon for some winter clothes. I bought him 12-18 months which turns out that they fit him fine now but they definitely won't last through winter.

So now I have to run around to Old Navy and Gap to return these clothes and get him 18-24 months. They may be a little big at first but I will not be buying two sets of winter clothes.

I'm just very annoyed. I got some SUPER cute stuff and all of it was on sale. I hope I can get the same stuff on sale. Ugh.

He's going to be ONE next month.

2009-09-22T11:59:00.002-05:00

He is 11 months old today and I'm feeling very sentimental about it so I decided to put together a montage of his life thus far.

I hope you guys like it as much as I do.

Love you all so much!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LGZpSDbrAew

Our newest additions...

2009-09-21T08:06:00.005-05:00

Okay, so as most of you know, we got rid of our beloved pups, Carson and Camille...Well, we decided to find some less maintanence to fill the void I've been feeling since C and C have left.

We found two, one year old, guinea pigs. They are so, so very cute and sweet.

The best part is that there is a place in Aurora (about an hour from here) that will board them both for $4 a night, which is very affordable for us. Aurora is on the outskirts of Denver, which is where we will be flying out of for our Disney trip in December so it seems that it will work out perfectly.

Ron wants to name them squeak and squeal but I'm not too sure about that. Does anyone have any suggestions on what we can name them?

Maegan and Ron.

2009-09-06T21:44:00.003-05:00

They make beautiful people together....

Changes

2009-09-05T16:37:00.005-05:00

I've learned that becoming a parent is very hard. It's not because it's a lot of work, it's because of having to say goodbye to different stages of your child's life.

I weaned Jaxon from the boob this week. It was a decision I was very comfortable with until today. Ron and Jax took off on a day in the Bronco and I was left here, alone, not being needed by anyone. It really has been a rough day. He's doing fine without the breast but I'm not sure I was ready.

I don't even know why people have kids. This is hard!!!! I can't imagine saying goodbye to my baby and saying hello to my toddler....Or saying goodbye to my toddler and hello to my kid...then kid to teenager, THEN the worst and most dreaded of it...saying goodbye to my teenager and saying hello to my adult!!! How in the crap am I going to handle him flying the coop and going off on his own when I am having such a difficult time with him not needing me to nourish his body anymore.

He was a few days old in this picture and it makes me sad to see it. I don't want him to grow up. It's a hard pill to swallow that it's incredibly inevitable. There is no doubt that I will be so proud of every stage of his life but this is harder than I thought it was going to be...this parenting thing, I mean.

My cousin, the musical genius...

2009-08-29T12:55:00.004-05:00

She has written a song that is exactly how I feel about Jaxon. It has touched my heart.

Go listen to the Song titled "Twilight" on her Myspace.

The lyrics below aren't verbatim and are written with Jaxon in mind but this is the part that really gets me and my life, it fits me to the "T".

Jaxon makes me want to be a better, he makes me really want to try. There's something about the way he looks at me that gives my jaded soul the strength to fly. And just when I thought I had seen my darkest night, he came upon me like Twilight.

Thank you, again, Maddy for writing a song that really touches me. You will go far.

Good-bye Carson and Camille

2009-08-29T07:12:00.005-05:00

They found a GREAT home yesterday.

I put an ad on Craigslist just to see what kind of response I would get and immediately, I got the perfect response. It was a mother of three little girls who she had promised one of said girls, a puppy. They have been LOOKING for a terrier and she said that two was even better. Carson and Camille will have a yard to run around in, the mother is a stay at home mom who home-schools her kids....it's really just the most perfect situation I could have put them in. The greatest part is that they aren't in the military, they are here to stay in Colorado and that is very important to me.

I am going to miss them but they are going to be so happy with their new home. That is what I keep telling myself. I wasn't here when they got picked up but Ron said that those three little girls were ECSTATIC over Carson and Camille. He said the moment he met that family that he knew this was the right decision.

With my starting school, Ron is working more, not to mention the lack of attention they've gotten since Jaxon was born....this is what is best. (This is me trying to make myself feel better by rationalizing it.)

I will be calling, Lisa (their new mommy), today to find out how they did last night...is that weird? And I want to tell her that, if for ANY reason, they can't keep them, they can bring them back to us.

This is so bittersweet for me. :( Look at how Carson is looking at Jaxon. :(

Please, Someone leave me a comment and make me feel better about our decision. LOL.

What makes a good sister?

2009-08-26T12:03:00.002-05:00

I will tell you what makes a good sister because I have the best one in the world. She is in the kitchen making me lunch right now. :)

Learning self sufficiency...

2009-08-14T11:31:00.000-05:00

This was our first experience allowing Jaxon to feed himself with something like spaghetti! I normally don't find messy-faced baby pictures appealing...I am actually disgusted by them but it really is true when they say "It's different when it's your child." I used to say that I would NEVER drink after my kid...backwash disgusts me...but it doesn't bother me with Jaxon (depending on what he's eating, of course.) Enjoy the pictures...it's okay to be grossed out.

Kind of weird and creepy.

2009-08-06T14:28:00.005-05:00

I just received a letter in the mail from my OBGYN in Texas.

Dated July 27, 2009...It reads:

Dear Ms. Swain,

Your recent Pap smear has been reported as normal. Be sure to repeat your pap annually.

Please call me if you have any questions.

Sincerely,
Ed Kemper

Okay, fine, that's great...normal Pap. Oh wait, I haven't seen this doctor in 9 months and have never had a Pap done by him.

Do they just send their patients letters of normal paps? That's a scary thought. OR maybe there is a poser? That's also not a very pleasant thought...well, at least she has a healthy va-jay-jay.

Tips and tricks for airline travel

2009-08-05T08:09:00.004-05:00

Anyone have any traveling tips or tricks for me?

We are flying to Memphis in a couple of weeks and I'm the world's worst packer. I always take way tooooo much and I always seem to have way too much to carry around the airport.

It probably wouldn't be an issue if the airlines didn't charge an arm and two legs to check bags.

Maybe second time's a charm.

2009-08-01T22:48:00.002-05:00

We went in to meet Jaxon's new pediatrician yesterday and Ron and I, both, hated him. I informed him of the alternate vaccination schedule that Jaxon is on and he might as well have named me "Worst Mother of the Year" right then and there. He was SOOOO closed minded and was not listening to a single thing I said. He made a comment at one point that just because I read something bad about vaccines doesn't mean that they're bad. I don't know where he collected this information from because when he asked me why I chose not to follow the CDC recommendations, I told him it was because I felt like it was too much, too soon....never did I say it was because I read something bad. Needless to say, we will not be seeing him again.

I don't need a doctor who agrees with my decision but I would like to have a doctor who is supportive of my rights as Jaxon's mother. I don't have to give Jaxon all of these vaccinations just because the CDC says that I should. I have a right to question what the medical community says is best for my child. Jaxon's previous pediatrician is the reason that I went ahead with the vaccinations in the first place. She was very open to my concerns and she really put my mind at ease. I really don't need an old geezer telling me how horrible I am that Jaxon is not getting his vaccines as recommended.

I really hate this part of moving, I really loved Jaxon's old ped. :(

I am preparing to start school this fall at the local community college. I am very excited and very lucky to have a husband who is so supportive of my ambitions. He is aware of the time it's going to take from him and the JaxMan in the evenings but we both agree that it's well worth it. It's so temporary.

I'm not exactly sure what I am want to do but I am leaning towards accounting. I'm extremely ready to do something with my professional life. I have so many regrets about not doing school when I was there the first time. I hope to do well this time and follow through with what I start. I'm pretty confident about it, the only thing that is standing in my way is ME...I'm doing it this time.

Oh, My nose!

2009-07-27T08:07:00.004-05:00

Okay, enough of the break, funny thing happened...ehm, well it's funny now.

I sat down on the toilet and hit my elbow on the toilet paper roll holder. It was one of those hold your elbow, close your eyes and breath really hard hits. So just as I thought the pain was going to pass, I started feeling light headed.

The next thing I knew, I woke up on the floor. I passed out...and fell off the toilet! Thankfully, I hadn't actually starting using the restroom yet.

I had no idea what happened but my head hurt. I ran down stairs and told Ron that I just passed out. (This is was all much more dramatic than I am writing it) He then asked me what happened to my nose! What? My nose? I put my hand on my nose and the once subtle bump on my nose was HUGE! I began crying hysterically, "Ron, my nose is HA-UGE!" Sob, sob, sob.

Apparently, I had hit my face on the wall on my way down. Who knew that you could pass out from hitting your elbow? I guess there is a nerve in there that causes you to pass out if hit too hard. Next time I hit my elbow, I'm just going to lay down on the floor, seriously.

Luckily, I woke up this morning without two black eyes...but with a big honker and a big goose egg on my forehead.

This is all on top of a stint of Mastitis that had me completely debilitated Friday and Saturday, which is a bit better but I'm still dealing with. This weekend has been awful.

I'm taking a hiatus.

2009-07-18T21:37:00.002-05:00

Be back soon.

About Colorado...

2009-07-14T21:54:00.005-05:00

It's fantastic.

Fountain is great, It's a small town right outside of Colorado Springs. We love our townhome and the area that we are in. It is a huge relief because we moved here blindly.

We are making ourselves at home. We just got our stuff yesterday...err, well, most of it. The movers had everything except for our mattresses which is a HUGE bummer. My body aches all day because of the dang air mattress that we are on, it's terrible. We have decided that we are moving ourselves next time. Yes, it's a lot more work but we like knowing that we have our stuff all together and it's the way it's supposed to be. Ron's MP3 player got stolen, our computer chair is missing a wheel (which makes this a very dangerous place to sit), pieces of Jaxon's crib are missing...it's just one thing after another. OH and don't even get me started on when I opened a box and lying there was a ROLL of wrapping paper, FOLDED in half. What geniuses. Seriously.

Little by little we are getting things together...I promise I won't be so gripey once it's done.

The only thing that I don't like about living where we live is that there is a rodeo ring on the way to our house. It wouldn't be such a big deal if I weren't so against the cruel treatment of rodeo (and circus) animals. Anyways, this rodeo ring has a little pen in the corner that holds baby cows 24 / 7. I look at it every time I pass by and it breaks my heart every time I pass by. I always think about arranging a Night Op to go free the baby cows. It's laughable to think about but I guess I would be right up there with people who free the grocery store lobsters.

We stopped at The Big Texan on our way out of Texas and the only thing that they had to offer us was a "dawgy corral" for Carson and Camille to run around in. We were super disappointed that we drove the 5 miles out of our way to eat there. It was expensive and the food was horrible. Other than that, our trip was fine.

Jaxon is bigger and better than ever. He just recently cut his two front teeth which filled the gap between his vampire teeth. My little Edward Cullen baby. You can kind of see his fangs in the close up picture of him in the cowboy hat. He's so freaking cute.

Anyways, Love you all!

A gentle reminder...

2009-06-23T19:58:00.002-05:00

I went with a friend to welcome her husband home from Iraq today. It was a gentle reminder of how lucky Jaxon and I are to have Ron home, safe and sound. It brought back great memories of the joy I felt that day that I welcomed him home 4 months ago. It was sheer happiness. Definitely goes on my list of the top 10 best days ever.

I wish everyone who supports our troops could experience a Homecoming Ceremony. They are truly touching. I had chills nearly the entire time. It's so special to put faces to all of the little children who have been missing their mommy or daddy for an entire 12 / 15 months...all of the spouses who have done it all alone for that time.

There was an hour before the troops got to the gym that a DJ was playing music. All of the kids were out in the floor dancing their butts off. It was so cute. I couldn't take my eye of this little toddler boy who was seriously getting his groove on. I couldn't take my mind off of the fact that in the last 15 months of his dad's absence, he has grown in ways that his dad could not even imagine....and chances are, the toddler boy looked at his dad like "What the crap, You're real!?"

While it's inevitable, I don't want Jaxon to be that boy.

I know it's not on people's list of priorities but I would urge everyone to take a trip to a Homecoming Ceremony. I've never experienced anything like it.

Our townhouse...

2009-06-17T09:21:00.009-05:00

The street view of our lovely townhouse. http://tinyurl.com/knlgqx (When it pops up, Click "street view" on the map)

The great thing is that it's part of HOA and the outside is kept up by them...so no yardwork...YAY! They are 3BR, 2.5 Bath...built in 2006, so they're fairly new. We are really excited about it. We got lucky and found a retired servicemember who is renting it out.

Notice the mountains in the background? Yippee! It's not exactly what we were looking for, it doesn't have a fenced in backyard but it's a nice home and that was my number one request. Ron says that I have living standards that are hard to meet but I can't help that. I refuse to live in a not so great house. What's so wrong with having standards? lol.

I just have to write about it.

2009-06-16T08:16:00.003-05:00

Breastfeeding. Nursing.

I have gotten a number of questions like "Are you still breastfeeding him?" When I respond with a yes, I always get a "Wow!"

We have continued to breastfeed for a number of reasons. I do believe it's what is best for Jaxon, which is the number one reason we have continued. It's free, which is the second reason...it's convenient and it burns calories. Those are less important reasons but they just add to my arsenal of reasons why we have kept it up.

I love nursing Jaxon. We have such a special relationship and I do attribute that to breastfeeding. Not to say that others don't have great bonds with their formula fed children but for us, I do believe that we have a particularly special bond because of the nursing.

I'm not sure of my point of this post. I kind of just felt the need to say that I believe that breast is best for babies....and I think that other than the small percentage that truly CAN'T breastfeed, everyone should do their child the favor of breastfeeding. There is a huge difference between CAN'T and WON'T. I truly admire mothers who pump for their children if they work or if they can't get a good latch. Exclusively pumping and feeding breastmilk is hard. Good for all you mommas who do that!

I would normally keep my opinion about subjects like these to myself but there is something about the reaction that I get when telling people that we're still nursing at 8 months; It's kind of set me off about the subject.

We're going to Memphis!

2009-06-16T07:55:00.004-05:00

Jaxon and I, that is! We will be headed home for a visit on August 18th to the 28th. We are SOOOOOOOO excited!

Also, I finally got video of him crawling. It's poor quality because it's taken with my webcam but it's something! He's gotten so good at the transition from his bum to his crawl and back to his bum. He makes a momma proud.

Fun times!

2009-06-15T07:38:00.001-05:00

TWO weeks before we move, we discover an outrageously fun time! We have been here for 2 and a half years and have never even given it a second thought. There is a lake about 15 minutes from us called BLORA, Belton Lake Outdoor Recreation Area. I have been out there before but it was for mandatory family things, never for our own recreational desires. We decided yesterday that it was hot, miserable and we needed to get out of the house so we went to the lake.

You know those days that go as planned and they're just perfect all the way around? Yesterday was one of those days. It was a perfect day. Jaxon had such a great time. There is something to be said about seeing your children having fun, it truly is priceless. Jaxon is such a little water bug...I am now in search of something fun like this to do in Colorado this summer.

Ron got a really funny sunburn all over his body. I used the spray sunblock on him and apparently I didn't give full coverage. It's quite funny to me. Although he doesn't think it's too funny, he's still a good sport.

14 days until we move to Colorado!!!!

He is officially mobile!

2009-06-10T14:13:00.002-05:00

Jaxon is crawling and he's everywhere.

I am such a bad blogger and don't have a visual aid to go along with this news but just trust me at the moment....he's a champion. I do have it on video but I don't know where my camera's USB cable is...sad.

Congress Bridge Bats

2009-06-02T07:03:00.005-05:00

This was one of the coolest things I've ever seen.

The Congress Avenue Bridge spans Town Lake in downtown Austin and is home to the largest urban bat colony in North America. The colony is estimated at 1.5 million Mexican free-tail bats. Each night from mid-March to November, the bats emerge from under the bridge at dusk to blanket the sky as they head out to forage for food. This event has become one of the most spectacular and unusual tourist attractions in Texas. The most spectacular bat flights are during hot, dry August nights, when multiple columns of bats emerge. There are several points from which to view the event, and an information kiosk is located on the north bank of the river, just east of the bridge.

We sat on the grassy knoll, surrounded by the Austin culture. I absolutely love Austin. It has a modern, funky, new feel to it. It's extremely diverse and it's a very clean city. While we were waiting on the bats, there was a couple down on the bottom of the hill that was doing magic tricks and stunts...and people were tipping them like crazy! I asked Ron if he thought that maybe that's what they did for a living. It left me daydreaming about finding a trade that I am good at or moving to Austin and coming up with a wacky talent that people will pay to see. Eh, maybe not...but I do think it would be fun.

I am a people watcher and this diverse atmosphere was the prime area to watch them. When I'm out in public, I watch people constantly. I am not meaning to stare, I just love to see how people do things...how they interact with their partners, children and other people in general. Ron always comments about my "people watching" but I can't help it, it's fascinating. It's part of me and I don't see it easing up anytime soon. Thankfully, I haven't had anyone bust my chops by asking me what I am staring at...if I get caught, I give a quick grin and look away. Then I look back in a few seconds to keep watching them. It does get kind of awkward if you get caught a second time though. I don't care, like I said, it's fascinating.

Anyways, here are some more pictures.

I'm lost.

2009-05-18T14:11:00.002-05:00

I really want to do something for myself. I would love to go back to school but I have problems with the thought of putting Jaxon in child care. I think child care is great for children, it's just my own hang ups of finding a provider that I trust with him.

I know that I will find my way to a career, it's just so frustrating. It always comes back to finding good child care.

I'm so discouraged as a whole right now. Ugh. If I would have just acted right when I went to school the first time, I would be totally done by now. I've wasted so much time.

Randomness.

2009-05-15T09:39:00.003-05:00

We are slated to be in Colorado at the beginning of July. The movers will be here on June 29th and I can't wait. I am looking forward to not having to pack or move a thing! What I am even more excited about is leaving Texas. Colorado is great and I can't wait to be there but I really just want to leave Texas.

This time of year is so gross to me. The HUGE flies come out, it gets humid and it's just unfavorable all around. It will be a change to leave this Texas summer and go to the Colorado summer, I hear they're drastically different.

Anyways, thinking back to this time last year...I was pregnant, Ron was deployed and I was just getting through each day. I told Ron the other day that last year seems so unreal to me. My pregnancy was exciting but I didn't have anyone to share it with so it just seemed like something that was happening. I barely even remember it because I was never just overjoyed about it. My goal everyday was to drink enough water. It's kind of sad actually and I'm glad that it's over.

Fast forward to today, Jaxon is laying on the floor trying to figure out the whole crawling thing while Ron is at work. We're so glad to have him stateside. He is so good with Jaxon, it's very cute. He's a goofy dad which I think Jaxon will appreciate as he grows a bit older.

Speaking of having Ron stateside, I'm not looking forward to the NEXT deployment. There is a great possibility that he will be going to Afghanistan at some point in late 2010 or early 2011. I will be moving back to Memphis at that point. Ron and I have agreed that Jaxon will be at an age that he will need to be around his boy cousins and his uncles. Jaxon will be without his dad, the least I can do is provide him with some great men in his life. Not to mention, I will be able to be close to my family and that will make this next deployment so much easier. Afghanistan scares me to no end, it's much...rougher...than Iraq is. However, I try to keep those thoughts at bay for the time being. I need to focus on having him home.

This December, we are going with all of our family to DISNEY WORLD!!!!!!!! We are very excited to be able to participate in this little family reunion. I can't believe Jaxon will be toddling around Disney World...he will be so big. :(

Ron says...

2009-05-09T08:40:00.003-05:00

That I don't update our blog enough...

Consider it updated, bud!

Jaxon Maddox Swain

6 month check-up 5/4/2009
17 lbs 9 oz
26 inches long
Measuring right on the 50th percentile mark

Okay, I think I'm done for real now.

2009-04-29T10:48:00.000-05:00

He's going to be crawling within the month, I believe.

And just because he's cute. I love these Amy Coe clothes. I have only found them at Babies R' Us and there isn't one near me. (I know Sheriece would be willing to pick up some more for me when he's ready for the next size, hint hint.) ;)

TOOTH!

I think this is the last of them...

2009-04-29T09:28:00.002-05:00

Jaxon's Easter basket...

Jax and Grandma Dianne.

Jaxon, Grandma Dianne and Papaw Max.

And just a cute baby!!!!!!!!

And more...

2009-04-29T09:26:00.000-05:00

More pictures...

2009-04-29T09:24:00.000-05:00

Aunt Sheriecey holding the BabyJax.

Addison's cute little self.

Me and my handsome nephew.

Cool guy, Ron.

Too many pictures, more to come!

2009-04-29T09:21:00.000-05:00

We are home and back to the daily grind. Not much has really been going on. Jaxon is 6 months old now, he has cut one of his bottom teeth and a second one is coming in any day now. We have his 6 month check-up next week so I will update with his stats.

He is such a booger. Ever since turning 6 months old, he has gotten this little attitude or something. I now know that he is very aware of his ability to get his way when he screams. He has this shreak thing he does that is quite annoying but yet, very effective.

We had a great time in Memphis. It was so good to see everyone. Spending time with family is truly special when you don't get to do it very often. Ron got to see his older kids for the first time in a year and a half. We had a bit of drama on that end but that is to be expected when dealing with their mother. It's all so unnecessary and childish...I hope that one day we can all come together and act as adults for the sake of all the children involved. None of them asked to be in this situation.

Hunter is doing great. As some may know, he got back surgery to help straighten him up. Everything went well with the surgery. He had a small stint back in the hospital because his digestive tract wasn't wanting to work properly but they got him squared away and he's doing well now.

Anyways, here are a few pictures from our trips...I love you all! Thanks for reading about my boring, yet fulfilling, life.

Is it just me?

2009-03-19T09:08:00.003-05:00

When your spouse is absent, you tend to forget all the negatives...like, when they get into the shower before getting a towel. This scenario ends in one of two annoying ways... walking into the bathroom and stepping in huge puddles of water from him getting the towel himself or hearing, "HEY BABE, can you get me a towel?". I have been making an effort to keep a towel in the bathroom for him so neither is an issue.

Is it just my husband or is it just men in general? It seems that half the time, he is incapable of repeating back to me what I had just said. In the past week, I don't know how many times I have said "Did you not hear me when I told you that yesterday?" and "I just explained all of that a few minutes ago!".

I'm trying to cut him some slack but this learning to live with each other is harder than I thought it would be. I think we're doing really good but we are definitely having our moments. We are both taking notes as we reintegrate ourselves into our spousal roles...and now, parenting roles. He's been such a good sport with it all. He takes my slight overreactions with a grain of salt....all while I am learning what's important to complain about and what's not. It was a wise person who instructed people to choose their battles.

We're a work in progress but we're making it. :)

Just some stuff....

2009-03-13T09:46:00.004-05:00

So, we all know that Ron is home...YAY!

I have been taken aback by how Ron has jumped into the groove of things and asks what he can do. I woke up to Jaxon whining this morning, I sighed and started to pull the covers off and I feel Ron reach over to stop me. He said, "I'll get him"...my eyes welled up with tears. I have been waiting this entire time to hear that. He got up, changed and fed him, unloaded the dishwasher...all the while I am laying in bed trying to go back to sleep because I CAN! However, I am so overwhelmed with how amazing my husband is that I can't.

Anyways, I'm going to share some pictures for people who look at my blog but don't have Facebook.

Thank you for everyone who gave us both so many encouraging words and support. I truly believe that the prayers that were said for Ron was what brought him home to Jax and I...so, thank you for those as well.

I am a lucky girl, I have the best family and friends.

Baby Taylor

2009-03-07T20:39:00.004-06:00

Taylor was such a cute baby!

I saw this picture today and I was floored at how much Jaxon looks like him!! Jaxon has that exact same expression! I can't get over how similar they look! BUT it's highly probable that I'm just nuts. :)

My growing boy...

2009-03-07T09:27:00.004-06:00

I just wanted to share some recent photos (and torture Sheriece a bit).

I love my Niece and Nephew

2009-03-07T08:36:00.003-06:00

I was going through my email to delete all of the unnecessary Facebook notifications and I came across something that I could never delete.

I sent Pearson a Dr. Seuss E-card for his birthday and I got this in response to it...

"Thank you for the Dr Seuss card. I wish I could go to your house. And I love your baby."

Well, needless to say, THAT made me laugh. So cute!

Then a few minutes later, I get an email from Addison...it reads...

"I love you, Maegan. I love your baby. And something else now... I love your house. And something else she likes... I love your paper, Maegan. Maegan loves cameras. And she loves windows and babies. Bye Maegan!"

That made me laugh even harder! I LOVE the "I love your baby" parts.

Pearson and Addison made me laugh every day that I was at their house for Thanksgiving and Christmas. They truly are special kids and I miss them so much. Pearson is such a kind kid and Addison is so whimsical. I can't wait to see them in April so I can tell them how much I love their things. :)

He can't be, can he?

2009-02-24T09:28:00.003-06:00

Jaxon is absolutely perfect. There is no way that I have had a pregnancy and a child, all without glitches. It's not possible, is it?

Well, I guess it is. As Ron would say, I'm the most pessimistic person he's ever met. In my defense, I have gotten better. It was bad while I was pregnant though. I was convinced that there was something wrong. I don't know if the fear stemmed from Ron having a disabled child or what but I just KNEW that something was going to happen. I'm sure if you asked Sheriece, she would tell you that I was genuinely surprised to learn that everything was perfect with Jaxon. I remember laying on the operating table and Sheriece saying something about Jaxon and I said "REALLY?". I was seriously surprised and relieved. That was a good day. I'm glad I got to share it with my sister. She is the next best thing to Ron and I'm so glad she was there.

Anyways, apparently I am as neurotic as mothers come. Jaxon has a great pediatrician though. I love her and she listens to me. She doesn't make me feel dumb by expressing my 'petty' fears. She told me how PERFECT he is doing. I have had it in my head that my child was behind, physically speaking. However, she put those concerns to rest. He's right on track.

Jaxon is just above the 50th percentile in weight, weighing in at 15 lbs and 9 oz. He was 25 inches long, which put him right in the 50th percentile. He is absolutely average in size.

He's such a phenomenal boy. What I hate is that everyone that loves him, besides me of course, has missed out on getting to hug him and see his handsome morning smiles. His slobber kisses are fantastic as well!

I wish I lived closer to everyone.

Next on the menu...

2009-02-22T21:41:00.002-06:00

RICE!!

Jaxon is 4 months old today and we started rice. We've been having problems with him sleeping at night so I decided to start rice after reading on his pediatrician's website that it was okay. I kept going back and forth about it...I hope I made the right decision by going forward with it.

We go tomorrow for his 4 month well baby and shots. He is on an alternate schedule of vaccines so I am preparing myself for another vaccine lecture. I just can't bring myself to pump him full of all of the recommended doses at once. It makes me so uneasy to think about. He is getting vaccinated, it's just going to take longer.

Anyways, I will update with his stats.

Love you all!

Happy Valentines Day to me!

2009-02-14T14:45:00.003-06:00

Valentines Day was going to be just another day this year...up until about 20 minutes ago. It is now the day that Jaxon rolled over for the first time.

I am so excited! I saw it the first time, grabbed my camera and caught it the second time. I sound like such an idiot on the video. I'm not crying, I swear...just super, super excited.

Fifteen by Taylor Swift

2009-02-08T19:58:00.004-06:00

This song brings back some very bittersweet memories of my 'first love'. He was an older boy and I truly thought he was "the one"...oh, how naive I was. I am so thankful that he wasn't the one...I would be missing out on my fantastic husband and my perfect son. Thank God for unanswered prayers....hey, that's another song. ;)

- Taylor Swift Lyrics

We have hands!

2009-01-29T00:31:00.004-06:00

I am such a paranoid mother. For about the past 2 weeks, I have been truly concerned about how little Jaxon uses his arms and hands. So, just within the past 2 days, he has discovered his hands and it just amazes me everytime I see him staring at them and clasping them together. It's so cute. I just imagine him thinking to himself "What are these things?" He stares at them with such interest and wonder!

8 Things

2009-01-27T11:05:00.002-06:00

8 Things

I've been tagged by Carla over at "Wake Up Laughing Just Because"

Here are the rules:

1. Post rules on the blog

2. Answer the six 8 items

3. Let each person know by leaving them a comment

8 Favorite TV shows:

1. How I Met Your Mother
2. The New Adventures of Old Christine
3. The Big Bang Theory
4. Desperate Housewives
5. Weeds
6. Big Love
7. U.S. of Tara
8. Grey's Anatomy

8 Things I did Yesterday:

1. Woke up and Fed Jaxon
2. Showered
3. Tanned
4. Went to Jeannie's
5. Ate
6. Went to Amber's with Jeannie
7. Drove Jeannie home is TERRIBLE fog
8. Got us both ready for bed and crashed!

8 Things I Look Forward to:

1. RON COMING HOME!!!!
2. Jaxon sitting up on his own
3. Our trip home in April
4. Our move to Colorado Springs
5. Buying my jeans in the next size SMALLER this weekend. Yay!
6. Sleeping while Ron gets up with Jaxon.
7. Sheriece's turkey sausage and cauliflower pasta that she WILL make for me when I come visit.
8. Spring

8 Favorite Restaurants:

1. Wild Wasabi
2. Nami
3. Sekisui
4. Texas Roadhouse
5. Boston's
6. Chili's
7. Jalisco's
8. Jason's Deli

8 Things I Wish for:

1. The safe return of my husband.
2. Happiness for all of whom I love.
3. A little monies would be nice. ;)
4. A safe move to Fort Carson.
5. Contentment
6. All of my loved ones living closer to one another...friends, family and all.
7. Better behaved dogs.
8. I wish for my son to learn true kindness for his fellow man.

8 People I tagged:

1. AD
2. Sheriece
3. Nikki
4. Amy
5. Mom
6. Jessica
7. Carrie
8. Christa

That is my child!

2009-01-23T23:01:00.002-06:00

Ever since Jaxon was born, all I have heard is how much Jaxon looks like his dad...I have vehemently agreed...UNTIL I decided to put baby pictures side by side. I think he more resembles myself now that I see the baby pictures! What do you honestly think?

My 3 month old!

2009-01-22T09:56:00.003-06:00

Jaxon is 3 months old today!!

I can't believe it. I'm such a proud mom. He is growing so big and chunky. We just moved into 6 month clothing. I'm not sure if baby clothes just run small or if he's just big for his age. His dad just chooses to believe that he has an abnormally large boy...typical dad. :)

Sock Monkey '08-'09

2009-01-21T20:47:00.003-06:00

We will miss you. You were only with us for a short while but we enjoyed you while it lasted. Our insensitive dogs thought it would be fun to chew on you. You could have been a lifelong friend for Jaxon. We are so sorry for our loss.

We will never forget you.

(Sorry, Nikki)

'Thankful' doesn't even begin to describe it.

2009-01-19T07:59:00.004-06:00

"i just wanted to let you know that im ok. we got hit yesterday. im going to be calling you later tonight when you get up. i love you so so much. kiss my son."

This was the message I woke up to today. It is the epitome of the military wife's worst nightmare.

I don't even know where to begin.

They lost someone yesterday. A guy that has been over to my house. I knew him. This is unreal to me.

I'm so thankful that I still have my husband and my son still has his father. Thankful doesn't even being to describe the way I am feeling right now. It very well could have been Ron. He was so close to it...he was up close and personal with all of the chaos.

I don't want to play anymore. It was okay when I was playing off this deployment as a business trip but this is a major reality check. This is not a game. I can't believe that I ended our latest conversation before this accident with a very sarcastic 'I Love You, too' because I was annoyed with him. That is how naive I have grown to this deployment, so naive that I think it's okay to leave a conversation with my husband that way.

Please keep Ron in your prayers, I think this opens up a very long list of trials and tribulations for him and his Faith...and our marriage.

Sorry for the dark post. My thoughts and emotions are running wildly.

Holy crap. Fight or flight....fight. Dear Deployment, I hate you.

It's been made public!!!

2009-01-10T11:22:00.003-06:00

Ron's homecoming that is! It was in Fort Hood's paper yesterday and it's on his division's website!!!!!!!

I am overwhelmed with excitement, it's now more than just talk!

Little Pranksters

2009-01-05T20:33:00.003-06:00

Okay so I have an App on my phone that allows me to call someone while showing a different number on their caller ID, change my voice and recording it. This is what ensued when Sheriece and I realized what we could do...

There is probably a better way to do this but go to the link below and listen...

http://mp3upload.ca/files/812/20081223_19012667163
MP3 Hosting Service Provided by mp3Upload.ca

13 lb 4 oz

2009-01-02T17:19:00.002-06:00

and 24 and a quarter inches long...

It's going too fast..

Never before seen

2009-01-02T09:02:00.005-06:00

I just thought I would show you guys a picture that Sheriece took the night before my induction. I miss my belly...a lot. :( I loved being pregnant.

Lots to share!

2009-01-01T19:51:00.010-06:00

I had such a wonderful time in Memphis for the Holidays. I am so thankful for my new found love and appreciation of my family...I sure have been missing out. I wish we all lived so much closer but since we don't, I think it makes things all so much more special.

Anyways, enjoy the pictures and video!!

New cuteness!!

2008-12-19T14:30:00.003-06:00

I just had to share my new favorite pictures that I have taken over the past couple of days. I can't get enough of him!

Oh and I'm sorry I never have anything interesting to say. Lately my days consist of diapers, feedings, dogs and an occasional movie. Such an exciting life. :)

He's a big boy!!

2008-12-09T10:55:00.004-06:00

I can't believe how big he is. I weighed myself and then I weighed myself holding him...there was a 12 lb difference!! Could it be? Could he really weigh 12 lbs? I guess we will see on January 2nd when we go for his 2 month check up and shots.

He is sleeping in his crib now...as of December 5th. I bought a monitor that goes under his mattress and detects breathing motions. It's amazing how sensitive this thing is! Anyways, it sounds an alarm if it doesn't detect any movement for 20 seconds. I know I may sound so paranoid to have gone to this extreme but it has given me peace of mind at night.

Anyways, that's our quick little update!! We love you all!

During Christmas time..

2008-12-06T12:21:00.006-06:00

I always think of Grandpa. I just wanted to share this picture with everyone, for those who haven't seen it or just want to see it again. This was taken on Christmas Eve night, the year he passed away. He was about to read (or had just read) "The Polar Express" to us all. How lucky McKelle, Maddy and I were to share in one of his last pictures. Such a special picture.

Smiles!!!

2008-11-30T13:00:00.003-06:00

Mommy got some smiles today! He has given them to my mom, sister and Grandma but not me UNTIL NOW!!! His face has taken on a whole new cuteness since he has smiled at me!!

Cloth bum!!

2008-11-22T09:36:00.002-06:00

SOOOOO cute, huh? I love his cloth diapered booty, it's so fluffy and large...lol. It probably sounds weird but I do.

Also, I cannot get this kid to sleep on his back. He startles a lot and wakes himself up EVERY time! I feel guilty letting him sleep on his tummy because of how 'they' say that tummy sleeping is a risk factor for SIDS. He will sleep on his back for about 30 to 45 minutes at a time but when he is on is tummy, he will sleep for 5 HOURS! That's nice for momma but it makes me SO nervous!

SO sweet.

2008-11-18T14:31:00.002-06:00

Jaxon got a FedEx package yesterday. It was a DVD and a book from Ron. The USO was offering a program at the airport that allowed servicemembers to read a book to their kids on DVD. It is so sweet. He read him 'Green Eggs and Ham'...Jax and I watched it today. Jax got so quiet when Ron started talking, it made me so happy to feel like he recognizes his daddy's voice. I could tell that it was really hard for Ron to do, he almost cried at the very beginning and at that very end. He is such a strong man to be able to go back, I am 99% sure that I would have gone AWOL before leaving Jaxon behind.

Mom left this morning. Her visit was so great and much needed. I have decided that I am done saying goodbye to my loved ones. I WISH!!!!!!

He's so different!!!

2008-11-14T21:52:00.004-06:00

I took this picture the other day and when I saw it on my computer, my heart sank. I realized that at only 3 weeks old, he looks SOOOOO much older!! Everywhere we go, Jax gets adored by strangers and then I get told how fast it goes by. I really don't care to hear that, I already know how fast it goes by and I just don't want to hear it.

Ron left yesterday. He should be home in March so it should go by pretty quickly, I can't wait to have him home for good...well, until the NEXT deployment...gah. It was so hard watching him say goodbye to Jax, it really felt like someone was stabbing me in the heart. Ron is so good with him and he was such a big help while he was home. I'm so lucky to have a man who gets true joy out of doing things for his wife. I miss him so much right now. He ran into a USO program that allowed him to read a book to Jax on DVD. He read him "Green Eggs and Ham", we should be getting it in the mail early next week.

Anywho, here are some pics!!!!!!

I rocked my vote!!!

2008-11-04T15:51:00.006-06:00

I voted for the first time ever!! GO ME!!

Here are some pictures just because I love my life and I have to share it with all of my loved ones...

Baby Legs!!!

2008-10-31T14:32:00.006-05:00

This is by far my favorite outfit of his so I had to share how cute it was!! Besides, it was a gift of Aunt Sheriecey and Aunt Nikki so I had to show them how cute their creation was! Thanks guys!!!!!!

More Pictures!!!

2008-10-29T19:11:00.003-05:00

Even though it is just gas, this picture is PRICELESS to me!!!

Have I mentioned how much I LOVE him? Gah!

I'm back!!

2008-10-27T18:16:00.006-05:00

So, I think a big thank you should go out to Sheriece for taking it upon herself to share my whole experience with labor and delivery. It's good she did it. She was able to keep it short and sweet whereas mine would have been long and drawn out...bad for the writer and the reader!! So, thank you, Sheriece!

Ron has been home for 2 days now and it doesn't even seem like he's been gone. It's the strangest thing. It's a discussion that we have had about 3 times now. We are both amazed at how things are just as how they were when he left...only better, of course. I can't stop thanking him for giving Jaxon to me. I'm sure he thinks I am crazy, obsessed by now. :)

Oh, motherhood. It's the most amazing thing ever. I freak out at the tiniest things. I am so paranoid about everything. I tear up everytime I even think about how much I love Jaxon. I, now, understand how a mother can infinitely stare into the face of their nursing baby. It has been one of the most life changing weeks of my life. It's the strangest thing but I really don't know how I have gone so long without Jaxon in my life. I sure was missing out on a lot!

Nursing has been a wonderful experience. Sheriece was a wonderful help with the whole nursing thing. I think she wanted it to happen just as much as I did so that was a great motivation to get through the sour spots. My hospital didn't offer any kind of lactation consulting so Sheriece got on her nifty IPhone and found someone to come out that day to help with it. What a great sister! Today has been a breeze as far as nursing goes so I think this may work! I am really excited about it. It's such an intimate time for Jax and I...I am amazed at how I am able to provide him with the nourishment that his body needs.

Anywho, I will close with a picture of the most proudest Aunt Sheriecey EVER!!!

Wow.

2008-10-25T11:31:00.000-05:00

Dad is home.

Going home!!

2008-10-24T19:41:00.000-05:00

Cuddling with his aunt.

2008-10-24T14:00:00.000-05:00

Eyes open.

2008-10-24T07:00:00.000-05:00

Good morning.

Baby leggies!

2008-10-23T23:19:00.000-05:00

Can I just say....

2008-10-23T15:47:00.001-05:00

How proud I am of Maegan!? She's a natural at this! So attentive and
affectionate and dedicated. Jaxon is off to such a beautiful start and
I feel so lucky to have been here to share it.

-SM

In his cute clothes!

2008-10-23T09:44:00.000-05:00

Good Morning!!

2008-10-23T07:29:00.001-05:00

So far so grand! He's doing fantastic and has successfully nursed
three times now. Maegan is in some pain but is distracted from it with
her little man. They're doing lots of skin on skin contact. I'm
trying to track down a lactation consultant since this hospital
doesn't have one on staff. More pictures later.

-SM

Mommy and son.

2008-10-23T00:18:00.000-05:00

Maegan update

2008-10-22T23:33:00.001-05:00

I haven't been able to see Maegan yet, but the nurse said she's doing
great. Mom and baby will be reunited when she gets out of recovery.
Did I mention how precious he is!?

-SM

Another

2008-10-22T23:27:00.000-05:00

Sleeping after his bath.

2008-10-22T23:21:00.000-05:00

I just like this one.

2008-10-22T22:46:00.000-05:00

His pout.

2008-10-22T22:45:00.001-05:00

Sad face. So cute.

2008-10-22T22:44:00.001-05:00